Bootyshorts Bish
by XxStrike2000xX
Summary: This is pure and utter CRACK, so I don't play seriously alright? Sorry if that is what you are looking for, but when Alois is around Ciel, you can't take ANYthing seriously XDD Anyways, enjoy.  P.S This was my very first FF ever, so please ignore the crap
1. A Day Gone Wrong

**Ciel's Diary- Bootyshorts bish**

by ~Strike2000

A day with the Bootyshorts Bish.. (Bitch)  
>(Royal Phantomhive Diary)<p>

Today was just terrible with that Trancy fool, Alois. We went for a walk in the local park as it was a nice, sunny day. Then he decides to go and be a royal pain in the bootyshorts behaving like a 5 year old. Climbing over the fence and almost caught his coat on the gate and started running around like a headless dog. Then he has the cheek to say to me ''Oh, but look whos talking, QUEEN'S GUARD DOG, WOOF WOOF! SNIFF OUT THE CRIME SCENE AND FIND ME A DEAD BODY!' GOOOOOOOOD BOOOOY'' which at that point I wanted to kill him. But I held back my anger and just enjoyed the weather. Sebastian put on an impressive show for me which was later on ruined by Alois almost twice, so I had Sebastian tie him to a tree and flung into the sky, Pluto approved of it. Look whos playing fetch now...

It was fun while it lasted so I let him go after about 10 minutes. Then we had a luxurious picnic, Alois for once shut up, hah. He didnt speak much and he was sitting with Mayrin, Finny and Bard, they all seemed to be enjoiying theirselves so I left it at that. Then I caught his quick glance at me and he gave me a dirty smirk and licked his lips. Perv..Now I know where Claude gets his pervertedness from. How disgusting...

When we got back to the mansion, I went to go join Finny outside in the garden, he wanted to show me this weird flower that was growing in the corner of a small hedge. Looked a bit like Alois and as I said that he appeared behind us and scared us both. Finny landed in cat shit and I almost had a heart attack.

When it was time to retire and Alois had left I felt free of relief. Finally he had gone.

Goodnight...


	2. A Lovely Day

**Alois's Diary- A Lovely Day..**

by ~Strike2000

Ole my cute little diary, daddy missed you SOOO much, I had to kiss you and give you a huuuuuuge cuddle! It feels like I havnt updated you about my life in forever, luckily I was going through some old crap to find you! You are one lucky little booklet yes you are! HAHA!

Ok, so, yesterday I had a FABITY FAB time with the PhatHives at the park (this is how I saw it haha!) :

As soon as we got there I decided to go bonking mad and jump onto Claudes shoulders and make him flap around like a headless chicken and make these really weird noises which made me laugh SO much I ended up choking on my own saliver, which then caught Ciel's attention and he stared at me with a horrid face and almost walked into a tree when I shouted out ''RIDE IT LIKE THE WIND!''. It made the his three servants laugh really hard and Bard almost swallowed his cigarette and Finny pat his back too hard and he dived face first into the grass wish his ass sticking up. How lovely it was of Meirin when she slapped it and he got up and chased her around the park with a huge red blush across his face. So embarrising. Finny looked dead after he was laughing so much. Then afterwards I decided to come and annoy Ciel who was just watching us from afar. He didnt seem too bad with all the madness going on. He wasnt really paying attention, he was just talking with Sebastian as he was trying so hard not to laugh. Then he whispered something to him, so I came over and asked what was so funny. Then he decided to take out a quitar and play some music...Very weird music...he sounded like he was in pain going ''OOOOOH ITS WHAT YOU DO TO MEEEEE OOOOOOOOOOH-'' and I couldnt take it anymore so I jumped in and started singing ''DONT YOU WISH YOUR BUTTLAR WAS HOT LIKE ME!'' Then he started singing LOUDER so I started going '' LET ME SAIL LET ME SAIL-'' next thing I knew I was tied to a tree that was ripped out of the ground. Then I herd these huge thumps shaking the ground. It was Pluto...bullocks...(However you spell it)

So, I was flung around like a woman doing the Dutty Whine. I just went along with it until Ciel told Pluto to stop and Sebastian untied me because it was time to eat.  
>The three servants felt sorry for me so I sat with them instead. They fed me and everything. I felt like a King! So I started playing along with the poor sad act like I was in pain, Sebastian was having Catnip Tequilla with Claude and they started doing some weird dancing entertaining people as they went by, I think they got drunk. Then I caught Ciel looking at me so I looked back and wink at him and licked my lips. And he just cut his eyes at me. Ass...But it was fun.<p>

After that we made our way back to his house and Sebastian and Claude went upstairs...kinky...I sneaked up on them but they were just talking about make-up...LIKE WHAT THE BLOODY HELL? After that I went downstairs and saw Ciel with FinFin the boy on Steroids. They were crouched down and I herd Ciel say my name so I scared them. Oh happy days!

After that I went back inside and snoozed off for a bit. And then next thing I know I was at my house in my bed! Wow Im a deep sleeper.

Thats all for now I guess!

Now stop reading you shit-eating maggots! HAHHAHA!


End file.
